Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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