My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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