I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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