do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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