You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
