you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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