I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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