He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
