I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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