Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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