The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I want to be your penis for a week.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
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