So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
