if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize