I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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