Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

Bea Arthur died yesterday

(240): View more from Maryland

You shut your stupid mouth

(301): View more from Maryland

Betty White is next, I just know it.

(240): View more from Maryland

Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.

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(619): View more from California

I want to have your abortion

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel

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(713): View more from Texas

38 yer olds are good kisserssss

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(973): View more from New Jersey

i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see

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(704): View more from North Carolina

my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'

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(812): View more from Indiana

You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.

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(971): View more from Oregon

Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.

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