Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.