I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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