All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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