Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
