She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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