if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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