i barfeds in our rink
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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