On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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