I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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