if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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