Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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