I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
she peed on how many people?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i think im in europe. pls send help
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
