Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
