Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
