id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
