You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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