wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
