How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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