i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
