I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
