I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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