So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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