I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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