Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
