Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
