I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
