kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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