Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
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How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
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so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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