Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
