haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
