And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize