Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize