She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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