fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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