Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
