you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
