The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
