Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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