You just made me feel so damn special
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
