My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
